It’s funny how many people think that huge trucks can drive and maneuver the same way as small cars and now that i drive one of the aforementioned huge trucks they have no idea how to drive when they are around me. I have yet to hit anyone but i can’t say I haven’t wanted to.
Driving a desk for the last 20 years in no way prepared me for my current job, driving a garden center delivery truck. But, apparently, according to the people at the garden center, I am doing it well.
Being above everyone while I drive around all day has led me to some conclusions.
1: Americans drivers are fat,
2: Their cars are filled with crap,
3: They talk on the phone, or text, or do their taxes online in the car FAR too much
4: It is not quite yet drive-around-in-your-bikini season
I saw a woman this afternoon who had a cigarette hanging out the window in her left hand and her smart phone/MP3 player in the other hand so she HAD to be driving with her knees while she merged (head-down looking at the hand-held device) onto the local main artery highway at 65 miles per hour.
I drive a delivery truck now. It has one of those “air-ride” seats for the driver and it bounces like a fraggin’ trampolene whenever I run over like, a pebble or a stick. Anyway, I didn’t think I would do very well at this job since it involves a serious amount of exercise and heavy lifting, but it turns out I kind of like it.
I have personally seen both CLOVER and (4)Q BCH on actual cars in my life. Of course one was on TV and was used as a joke.
We bid you fond farewell oh Captain my Captain. You have abused the roof of my mouth for perhaps the last time. I never did like crunchberries.
If you are reading this on Wednesday you have missed a whole day of exposure. I have decided that as long as I can keep up my current two comics per week schedule (and with my fluid job status that may not ultimately be possible) I will move the Wednesday update to Tuesday, to give the first comic an extra day of readerness. So build a time machine and go back to yesterday and enjoy this comic just that much more.
CORRECTION: Last week’s comic referenced a body butter product that was actually from a store called The Body Shop, not Body Works like I remembered. Get some and then punch yourself in the dry skin with it.
No reason to waste butter.
But seriously folks, try Body Shop body butters for the winter itchies. Most years I am flayed by this time of the season, but Body Shop Brazilnut Body Butter saved me. Seriously. And Jim is putting the butter on the hitting part of his fist, just in case you can’t tell from my bad drawling…
