every nine minutes

320 BP Strikes Again

Steve — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:40:01 +0000

Went to a local Mongolian BBQ restaurant the other night and picked up my bowl to load up on meats and vegetables and what do my fingers behold but oil on the bowl. I assumed that maybe one got a little oil on it, these things happen, and went to get another bowl and EVERY SINGLE BOWL in the FOUR stacks ALSO had oil on them. Then we went to Five Guys Burger and Fries where the oil was in the burgers, just like it’s supposed to be.

319 Oldie but Goodie

Steve — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 04:39:06 +0000

He’s non-retired again, apparently. At least until some 22-year-old 300-lb. linebacker hits him and pulverizes all of his frail, brittle bones. And just in case you’re saying hey this is a repeat I changed the last panel dialogue and painted Jim’s shirt. You’re always going to get your money’s worth here at Every Nine Minutes LLC

318 A Blizzard Too Far

Steve — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 04:22:32 +0000

I probably needed another panel or two to make this clear enough to be funny to anyone else but me. So here’s the deal. We went to Dairy Queen after our stuff-tabulous (see comic 316) dinner at Chilli Peppers (so far no complimentary dinner for the free advertising in a world-famous web comic) and I declined my favorite ice-cream treat because it gives me the wind something awful. (Had i been staying at the beach house i would have eaten it and to HELL with my friends.) Anyway, my car did break down on the way home (in he rain) and all of the people i would have called to rescue me were BACK AT THE BEACH. So I called AAA instead (which was good because they have a tow truck and none of my friends do) and got home at 3 AM. Then i got up at 4 AM to go to a hockey tournament. Needless to say I took a few naps in the car that day. Most of them when i wasn’t driving.

317 Classic

Steve — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 04:46:10 +0000

More beach fun. BTW, peeing on jellyfish stings does not really work, so try vinegar instead. That’s Susanne under the bird poopy. She got tagged so hard by a Stuka Seagull that she missed dinner. And everyone welcome Percy (and his git-ar) back. He did not get pooped on that i know of.

The plan is for more bonus e9m on Friday. The ORIGINAL plan was for bonus coverage LAST Friday but i had too much life to cram into a few days. Sorry. So check back…

316 Dancing with Jellies

Steve — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 04:15:41 +0000

There were a lot of jellyfish that day. Apparently enough to force the recombination of human DNA into something wonderful. I wouldn’t know because as you saw last week I was left at the house with Larry’s swim trunks.

315 It’s Hailing Men

Steve — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 04:23:45 +0000

We went to the Jolly Roger on the beach road in Nag’s Head (or Kitty hawk, I don’t know where they draw the lines) for breakfast. Jim normally does not eat a lot of breakfast. He experienced shock. We were able to skip lunch and then ate an awesome dinner at Chilly Peppers (on the bypass) and stuffed ourselves again. We seriously pigged but that’s what vacation is all about. (Jim’s ambulance driver was very comforting.)

314 Run for the surf

Steve — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 04:43:22 +0000

Yes Larry went to NY and he brought me back a cool Futurama toy. Thanks Larry. And then he got kicked off his plane and could not make it down to the beach for Friday night pingpongchingchongdingdong and whiskey sours. Nor did he make it for breakfast. He did, however, arrive in time for boogie boarding and dinner. PLUS: There will be a special Friday edition of E9M because there was too much beach humor for one day per week. So come back and read some more. On Friday.

313 The King

Steve — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 01:52:26 +0000

Larry was in New York recently doing New York things like cussing at bad drivers and staring up at really tall buildings (he’s depicted atop the Empire State Building, just so you get the whole joke) and going to both the Daily Show and Colbert Report. He took his son instead of his best friend, ME. Hmph.

312 Vengeance is a dish best served iced

Steve — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 04:33:06 +0000

This actually happened, or I guess, to be fair, only in my mind. I DID encounter Larry at my local McDonalds this morning on my way to work (where I got my iced tea for refill price) and he WAS backing out when i pulled in, but he did NOT impede my driving and i did NOT remove his head. I DID buy him a yogurt later.

311 Reading is Fundamental

Steve — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 04:33:46 +0000

Pooping is bad enough, especially when you consider my diet, but to have to do it in the dark is just mean.